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Full Metal Confusion by ~Kristoski:iconKristoski:



The morning sunlight beamed gently into Riza’s bedroom, signaling the trained soldier that it was past time for waking up. Grumbling gently, Riza tossed aside the covers and slipped out of her bed, wandering into the closet to change into casual clothing.
She heard muted voices in the kitchen and smiled. Funny that the two late sleepers would have beat her up this morning. She’d nearly forgotten that they’d been staying with her for the past several days. On her way into her living room, Riza glanced at her calendar and winced: it was Valentine’s Day.
Riza stepped lightly into the main room; the two other women were so intent upon their discussion that they didn’t even hear her enter. Laughing to herself, she leaned up against the doorframe and listened for a moment in silence.
“You did what?!” Winry squeaked, leaning forward on the couch.
“A blind date,” Sheiska replied. “I figured it’d do you some good, since Edward isn’t moving fast enough for you.”
“I never said – but I – I don’t even know this person!”
“That’s okay,” Sheiska reassured her brightly, “neither do I!”
“You don’t know him either!? How does that make this okay!?”
“Calm down,” Riza said gently, breaking into the conversation as she moved smoothly into the room. Both women jumped at the sound of her voice.
“Oh, good morning Lieutenant Hawkeye,” Winry said, laughing uneasily. “You startled me.”
“I was just explaining to Winry that she has a date this evening,” Sheiska said.
“Well, maybe it won’t be so bad,” Riza yawned, slipping into her favorite easy chair. She felt a familiar warmth at her feet as her dog Hayate settled himself comfortably there. “You never know – you could meet some pretty interesting people. And, who knows? Maybe it’ll spur Edward into some action.” Winry’s face turned a healthy shade of red; Riza was unable to contain her warm-hearted laughter.
“I’m so glad you think so, Lieutenant!” Sheiska said excitedly. “Maybe it’ll spur Colonel Mustang into action, too!”
“I beg your pardon?” Riza asked sharply, halting mid-laugh.
“Well, I set you up with someone, too. No sense in just Winry having all the fun!” Bemused, Riza stared at Sheiska; it was Winry’s turn to snicker.
“I – you – what makes you bring up Colonel Mustang?” She asked, coughing into a hand.
“I might be a little ditzy, but I’m not stupid!” Sheiska protested. “Besides, the two of you work too much, and it’s your day off! Make sure to be in front of the Western Central Library at seven o’clock tonight.” Sheiska leapt up from her chair and laughed again.
“What’s the worst that could happen? I’ll see you at seven!” Sheiska slung her pack over her shoulder and waved. “Good-bye!”
Riza and Winry watched her leave in silence; neither spoke even after the door swung shut behind the fleeing librarian.
“She is SO wrong if she thinks I’m not going to get her back for this,” Winry mumbled. Riza nodded numb agreement.
“Well, this ought to be interesting. It’s probably best I not tell the Colonel.”
“Or Ed,” Winry added with a sigh. “Although, I doubt he’d notice even if I did tell him.” Laughing balefully, Winry stood and stretched. “I guess we might as well make the most of it, huh? I’m going to find something to wear.”
“It’s only ten in the morning,” Riza said, frowning lightly. “Isn’t it a bit early?”
“It’s never too early to start!” Winry laughed, grabbing Riza’s arm. “Let’s go!” Riza stumbled forward, nearly tripping over a rather indignant Hayate.
“O – okay…” Riza said uneasily. She had a feeling she was going to regret this.

* * *

“C’mon, Souske, how bad can it possibly be?” Kurtz asked through a laugh. “If Melissa says we’ve gotta do it, then we’ve gotta do it.”
“Affirmative, but – does she even KNOW what Ms. Chidori will do to me if she finds out?” Souske frowned as Kurtz continued to laugh.
“I’m sure she knows exactly what she’ll do to you,” Kurtz snorted. “But, really Souske, if you want to get her attention, you need to learn how to treat a woman. And it’s best you meet someone who’s never met you before – then you won’t have to worry about judgment. Besides, I hear she’s hot.” Kurtz grinned.
“If the mission objective is to take her out to dinner and show her a good time, I can do that,” Souske said with a brisk nod. “I will see you in O-200 hours, Sergeant.”
“Hahah, see you later, Sagara,” Kurtz waved, continuing to sort through his garments. Souske shut the door behind him, gently reaching up a hand to scratch his head.
“A good time? I can do that…yes, affirmative. I can do that.”

* * *

“I don’t know about this, Lieutenant,” Winry said uneasily as the two of them walked down the streets of central. Daylight was waning and the streetlamps were just starting to cast their subtle glows.
“Aren’t you the one who got all excited and went running into my closet to see what I had to wear?”
“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be nervous! I mean, what if these guys are, y’know…punks or something?” Winry bit her lower lip worriedly. Riza laughed.
“Really, Winry. I’m beginning to think you’re having second thoughts. Listen, all we have to do is go to dinner. We’re not committing to anything else.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It just means Edward should have asked me sooner!” Riza smiled slightly; she couldn’t deny that she was thinking the exact same thing about a certain Flame Alchemist.
The two women turned the corner and approached the West Central Library, where Sheiska was waiting for them.
“Hi!” She greeted them cheerfully. “They should be here any minute, so just sit tight. You look nice,” she added with a grin.
“Thanks,” Winry said, half turning so that Sheiska could see the back of the slender black dress that she wore. The dress hung to just above the mechanic’s knees, and the cut of the dress’ back dipped down in a slender “v” shape. “Lieutenant Hawkeye lent it to me.”
“It’s a bit old,” Riza remarked critically, tilting her head gently as she assessed the garment. “It’s been a long time since I’ve worn it.” Sheiska stepped forward and gingerly took a piece of the soft red fabric of Riza’s dress and held it between her fingers.
“This is lovely, too, though,” she remarked. Riza shrugged, glancing down at the maroon evening dress.
“I’m glad you think so,” she said. Frowning, Riza glanced at her wrist watch. “Hm. They’re almost late. If one thing bothers me about a man, it’s being late.”
“Then how do you put up with the Colonel?” Sheiska asked. Riza snorted.
“I never said it didn’t bother me,” Riza remarked through a laugh. The other two joined her in her laughter, but stopped abruptly when she raised a hand sharply to silence them.
“Someone’s here,” she said, reaching down and hiking up her dress. She removed her handgun from the leg strap and glanced warily around. “There,” she said, aiming her gun at a patch of bushes near the library’s entrance.
“Lieutenant, shouldn’t you call for back up or something!?” Winry asked shakily.
“What backup?” Sheiska shivered. “Everyone’s gone!”
“Come out,” Riza commanded strongly, gaze intent upon the bushes. As she watched them, she noted a man approaching them in her peripheral vision. “Tell that civilian to stay back,” she told Sheiska quietly. Sheiska nodded and stumbled over towards the blonde man that was nearing.
Riza began to slowly inch her way towards the bushes. “Come out!” She demanded again. Still, there was no further movement. Her lips creased downward into a frown as she paused. Her finger gently touched the trigger as she prepared to fire a warning shot.
“Lieutenant, wait!” Sheiska yelled. “Don’t shoot – we know who he is!”
“What?” Riza asked. She lowered her weapon and turned to face Sheiska and the mysterious stranger who had approached. “What are you talking about, Sheiska?” Before the other woman could speak, the bushes rustled again, and a man stood up from within them.
“Kurtz?” The man blinked his dark eyes and stared at the blonde man standing near Sheiska.
“Sagara?” Kurtz burst into laughter. “What the heck are you doing?”
“I arrived early and found evidence of strange activities. Naturally, I set up a perimeter and waited for suspicious movement. Then, these women came and I thought it best to proceed cautiously.”
Riza and Winry exchanged glances. Who was this guy? Kurtz turned to Riza and Winry and grinned.
“I’m Sergeant Kurtz Weber. And my friend here is Sergeant Souske Sagara. It’s a pleasure to meet you, ladies.” Riza raised an eyebrow as Kurtz elbowed Souske sharply.
“Charmed, I’m sure,” she said, glancing again at Winry, who looked about as confused as she felt.
“Well, I’m certain the four of you will have a lovely night,” Sheiska giggled, inching away. “I’ll see you two at Lieutenant Hawkeye’s house later tonight. Bye!” Sheiska turned abruptly and ran down the streets toward her single apartment; Riza sighed. She was definitely going to get even for this one.
“Hey there, beautiful,” Kurtz said, sliding closer to Riza. “Shall we?” He held out his arm; after a moment’s hesitation, Riza slipped her arm into his. She glanced over behind her and noted that Winry and the man they’d identified as Souske were also awkwardly linking arms and walking forward.
It was going to be an interesting night.

* * *
Souske walked briskly down the hall of the apartment, shaking hands clutching a bouquet of roses. He’d had a wonderful night – that Winry certainly was a nice woman – but, still, someone else weighed heavily on his thoughts. Turning the corner sharply, he paused and rapped sharply upon the door of apartment 22.
“Yes?” a female voice called from within. “Who is it?” Souske heard sound of the door unlocking.
“Sergeant Souske Sagara!” He called nervously. The door opened fully to reveal Kaname Chidori. Her eyes wide with surprise, she stared at Souske, and then at the flowers in his hand.
“Souske? What -?”
“These are for you!” he said hurriedly, thrusting them into her arms. “And whatever Kurtz says, don’t listen to him. Happy Valentine’s Day. I will see you tomorrow in O – 600 hours!” Coughing, Souske turned quickly and fled down the hallway, leaving a very confused Kaname behind.
Souske burst out of the building and leapt into the car where Kurtz was waiting.
“How’d it go, lover boy?” Kurtz asked.
“I believe she found the flowers to be adequate,” Souske replied.
“…You didn’t stay to see, did you?” Kurtz asked with a sigh.
“I – I’ll see her at school tomorrow!” Souske replied quickly. “Just drive. Isn’t Mau waiting for us, anyway?”
“Yeah, yeah. She can just wait a little longer,” Kurtz remarked with a grin. “I’ve got a surprise for her she won’t soon forget.”
“You’re not going to put itching power in her bed again, are you?”
“No!” Kurtz snapped. “Of course not! Mau is about as far away from feminine as you can get, so I hoped that I’d bring out the feminine side.” Souske frowned.
“How do you plan on doing that?” He asked. Kurtz gestured behind him to the back seat. Souske turned around and noted the large stuffed bear with a flower clutched in its paw.
“It’s incredibly old-fashioned, isn’t it?” Souske asked.
“The bear might be, but what hopefully comes afterwards isn’t!” Kurtz laughed, his eyes brightening. Souske sighed and shook his head.
“You’re incorrigible, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. But, look at it this way – two dates in one night! Ain’t half bad.”
“Yeah,” Souske said absently as he glanced out the window. As enjoyable as his first date was, his thoughts lingered on his upcoming Monday at school when he would see the girl whom his thoughts so constantly dwelled upon.
“Happy Valentine’s day, Chidori,” he muttered quietly as the car sped off into the evening.

* * *

“I just couldn’t believe it!” Winry exclaimed, dropping exhaustedly into a chair. “Most women would have hated it, but it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done!”
“What?” Sheiska asked anxiously. “What? What did you two do?”
“He took me to see this giant machine. Eeeeee!” Winry shifted abruptly in her chair, hugging her legs to her chest. “And, even though he was a little weird, he was really sweet. I even got to take a few pieces apart!”
“That would explain the grease smudges on my dress,” Riza remarked, setting a cup of tea down in front of Winry before pouring one for herself and Sheiska.
“Eh heh, sorry about that, Lieutenant,” Winry said sheepishly. “I just couldn’t help it. He was…rather military-like, really,” she added thoughtfully. “He was really rigid, and when he dropped me off tonight all I got was a stiff handshake and a very awkward hug.” She laughed dreamily. “Although, I guess I wouldn’t mind another date.”
“What about you, Lieutenant Hawkeye?” Sheiska asked. “How did your date go?”
Riza sighed, staring into her tea for a few moments before responding. “It was…interesting,” she said at last, leaning down to scratch Hayate’s ears. “He’s one of the best shooters I’ve ever seen.”
“…I’m not sure I want to know, but how do you know that?” Winry asked, leaning forward interestedly.
“He took me to a shooting range,” Riza said, then sipped her tea. She smiled into her cup at the dumbfounded looks on the faces of her friends. “Strangely, I think it was one of the most romantic times I’ve ever had.” Sheiska blinked.
“Well – that – that’s good!” She said happily. “I’m so glad the two of you had fun!”
“Still…” Winry said quietly, gently biting her lower lip. “Still…I wish that it were Edward.”
“The Colonel can’t shoot a gun like that,” Riza grunted, “but I guess it might have made it better if it had been him.  Sheiska looked between the glum faces of the two women, sighing heavily.
“Oh!” She exclaimed suddenly, leaping up from her chair. “I found these on your doorstep when I arrived, Lieutenant. I forgot!” She ran over to a table on the other end of the room and handed each of them a nicely wrapped red box. “I didn’t read the tags or anything,” she added hastily at their dubious looks.
Riza glanced down at hers for a long moment, uncertain of whether or not she really wanted to open it. From across the room, she heard Winry mutter, “To the only mechanic for me, with love.” Riza looked up and watched Winry unwrap the somewhat sizable box.
“That idiot!” She yelled suddenly. Still, she was unable to keep a smile from lighting her face. She reached into the box and pulled out a somewhat battered automail arm. In the arm’s hand, however, a rose and a ring were clutched. “I’ll need some repairs for next week,” Winry said, reading another note that was attached to the rose.
Riza laughed, and then looked to her own box. With a tentative sigh, she undid the wrapping and reached for the note attached. “For Hawkeye,” she read. “How romantic,” she grumbled as she started to push aside the tissue paper. “He’ll never – oh. Oh, my.”
“What is it?” Sheiska and Winry asked together. Riza gently lifted the item from the box to show her friends. A small glass pendant hung on a slender golden chain. Within the pendant, a small flame danced, as if it had been kindled so that it would never go out.
“Wow,” Winry breathed. “It’s beautiful! …How does it work?”
“You’re not tinkering with this one!” Riza laughed, gently placing it on her own neck.
“There’s something else,” Sheiska said, pointing into the box. Riza blinked and reached inside, pulling out a blue mini-skirt with another note attached. “P.S.,” she read, “I’ll see you on Monday in your new uniform!”
“Men are idiots,” the three intoned heavily, shaking their heads. Still, Riza smiled to herself – as stupid as he was, she would rather have no other valentine. Upon glancing at Winry’s face, she was certain that the mechanic felt the same way.
©2006-2009 ~Kristoski
:iconkristoski:

Author's Comments

I usually don't write fan-fiction because it just isn't my thing. But, the Caitlin Glass fan group had a valentine's day contest for both writing and drawing - and, since I don't draw, I figured I'd stretch my fingers a bit and give the ol' fan-fic a shot.

This is a Full Metal Alchemist fan fiction (and Full Metal Panic) and there are absolutely no spoilers for the series whatsoever (to my knowledge - I haven't seen the ending yet. But if this romance matches the ending, I'll laugh really hard). Whatever happens between the characters is purely fiction and is my retelling and opinion, not those of the show's creators.

That being said, these characters ain't copywrighted by me. So there!

(I also apologize for formatting - Deviant Art doesn't like to format pieces of writing exceptionally well, so please don't mind the awkward intendentations and all that jazz.)

Comments


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:iconicchan67:
Good show old chap! You captured the Fullmetal Panic charas with excellent prowess. I also see you're favorite word is 'gently'. Might want to watch that, but overall top hole!
:iconambrosia-rose:
*snorts and sputters with laughter* When I read your description, I thought "oh no, not Souske!" But then you put Kurtz in too! :lmao: How in the world did you ever realize that those two actually match up to Winry and Riza so well? lol

Totally adorable. You should do something for White Day... now that would be funny. ^_^

Oh, and check your email if you haven't yet. I do believe you won something. *grins*
:iconkristoski:
White day WOULD be funny. ;D

Thanks for the comments, you two! ;) I just checked my email about 10 minutes ago and was very pleasantly surprised. Yay!

Much love. ;)

--
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him."

Check out the project that is consuming my life!

~SkysEnd
:iconpandabearroo666:
Yes....men are Idiots.

--
I can beat that whole team of Spartans with my awsome Numchuk Skills!

Hello My Name Is:
Mrs. Heath Ledger
:iconkristoski:
All too true! Yet...gotta love 'em.

--
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him."

Check out the project that is consuming my life!

~SkysEnd
:iconpandabearroo666:
CRAP!!!I forgot what we were talking about sorr just like that hehehee...

--
I can beat that whole team of Spartans with my awsome Numchuk Skills!

Hello My Name Is:
Mrs. Heath Ledger

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February 23, 2006
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